Monday, May 19, 2008

Are We Ever Alone?

A few days ago i was leaving a meeting and getting into my car when i realized that i had to be somewhere again in 2 hours. Don't you hate when that happens. I mean i could have gone home but i would have sat there for and hour and had to leave again. Sometimes i just waste time sitting on what should be my fat butt. So instead i went out and played a few rounds of disk golf. I'm not going to lie, it was very strange. I can't remember the last time i felt so alone. As i was walking to hole 1 i realized that i had never played disk golf alone before. This makes me sound like a wimp but i was even a little scared about being alone. You see when I am around people I can fool them easily into thinking I am someone I am not. But, when I am alone and it's just me and God than i am completely vulnerable. Nothing i can say or do will make me look better than the person i really am. WOW!!! I don't know what it was about being alone that day but it just reminded me about God's grace. Here I am just playing some disk golf (by myself) and God reminds that he is in love with me. I don't know if God's grace is meant to be understood or just felt? If i could understand it than it must have an end. I look at my life and the lives of my friends and wonder how in the world can a God who deserves more than what i can offer him give me a savior to grab a hold of and make me more than i what i can become on my own. I don't understand it but i feel it. Just a weird thought i had while playing disk golf. What's not cool is that i played horrible that day because i kept thinking so much. But it's all good.


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